Sunday, August 20, 2006
the festival of love between a brother and a sister. the celebration of this unique bond betwen siblings, who leave their at-your-throat ways for atleast a day... somehow i never got the hang of this day.
maybe it has got to do with me n my brother being the only kids with no sister in the household. but that doesnt mean anything when i've always had more rakhis tied up on my hand and a family full of relatives, cousins and temporary relations.
there was a lot i wanted to say about this rakhi. but it all boiled down to the pecularity of life, some of my sisters were very happy, as they should be. on the other hand reena in particular was heartbroken. life looks a lot different when you have to watch it from the sick bed.
somehow, i got the feeling that i'm only an observer, with no control over what's happening around. and somewhere deeply, even no control on what's happening within me. still, i'm the centre of my universe and all these things revolve around me. like planets in the zodiac, people come with their own affections and afflictions; moments of sobs and smiles; and days just go by. hello, what's going on here actually?
rakhi has no such meaning for me now. so many people have come and went by, sisters also, that i can't even keep tab on the going-ons. think, BUGS will understand this better for me. the whole building, the whole trust in relations, values and traditions is breaking down from one end and automatically building up from the other. and i'm helpless before both.
yeah, that's the word rakhi made me feel like.
i'm so helpless before my heart, my heart.