Sunday, August 20, 2006

Rakhi


the festival of love between a brother and a sister. the celebration of this unique bond betwen siblings, who leave their at-your-throat ways for atleast a day... somehow i never got the hang of this day.

maybe it has got to do with me n my brother being the only kids with no sister in the household. but that doesnt mean anything when i've always had more rakhis tied up on my hand and a family full of relatives, cousins and temporary relations.

there was a lot i wanted to say about this rakhi. but it all boiled down to the pecularity of life, some of my sisters were very happy, as they should be. on the other hand reena in particular was heartbroken. life looks a lot different when you have to watch it from the sick bed.

somehow, i got the feeling that i'm only an observer, with no control over what's happening around. and somewhere deeply, even no control on what's happening within me. still, i'm the centre of my universe and all these things revolve around me. like planets in the zodiac, people come with their own affections and afflictions; moments of sobs and smiles; and days just go by. hello, what's going on here actually?

rakhi has no such meaning for me now. so many people have come and went by, sisters also, that i can't even keep tab on the going-ons. think, BUGS will understand this better for me. the whole building, the whole trust in relations, values and traditions is breaking down from one end and automatically building up from the other. and i'm helpless before both.

yeah, that's the word rakhi made me feel like.

i'm so helpless before my heart, my heart.

3 comments:

starry nights said...

Adi..you are truly a wonderful and caring person and thats why you have all those rakhis even without having a real sister.

peenut said...

"rakhi has no such meaning for me now. so many people have come and went by, sisters also, that i can't even keep tab on the going-ons"..get busy alok..get busy...immerse urself in work, so that u dont hav time 2 think of anything else.. i hav done so..so the thoughts of missing my frends, missing her, trouble me less..dont know if thats the best way...but its surely one solution to the PROBLEM.btw ..how r sachin and autumn..??

adi said...

Starry: i dont think so, at last notice i haven't found anything worthwhile within me.

Peenuts: Don't u think m busy enough. This is not the solution to any problem, this is just running away from the problem.

Sachin is cool. Autumn is super cool, just missing ur q's a bit;) for a change, m missing u too.

dreamt before

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