Saturday, January 06, 2007

Lost & Found

Be like a postage stamp.
Stick to one thing until you get there.
- Josh Billings (1818-1885)


kya khoya, kya paya

hmmm. a new year has dawned. but what's so new about it? everything is same. even if everything was new around me, i am the same old dork i was all these years.

but, atleast a new year, sure demands some introspection? even this, is not the case with me. the two most important days for me in a calendar are my birthday and the diwali. these two days i'm the most inward looking of all.

i wouldn't have posted this, but for my teacher's new year post.

"I personally dont feel like celebrating it this time, actually i never do but this time all the more. What difference is it going to make? What is so special thats going to happen? Whats new thats being created? Sounding weird...may be." says she.

i agree. and disagree. everything is open to interpretations dear.

i agree, that nothing changes in the real sense. just the dates on the computer clock or on the job sheet. or within the diary pages? no, you didn't sound weird, love. its that, something within me just doesn't agree to it. just don't want to agree.

i would like to see it differently. and its not to do with a new year. a new year is just an excuse for us to make resolutions and break them subsequently. god knows, if anyone of us wants to make a real difference, we can do it any damn day.

that is the point as far as i'm concerned. if i've done all the things i think of, heck, even half of them, i would have been in a completely different mode today. but then i don't do them. as bugs used to say, i'm bravely running away from everything that really matters. but then, i lost her too.

this brings me to the title. lost and found. too much. sheer number of people that've come and went from my life in one single year. not mentionable here.

like the lines i wrote some days back. i choose to close all this in a box and drift it in the river of age. i won't like to see that box again. but i know, it'll all come back. all the q's that have been left unanswered plus all the dreams that've been left unrealised, everything will come back someday. and that day, i won't be able to run away.

dream. this is the only word that keeps me going. delhidreams is not just a word, it's a noun, that'll become a verb someday :) a few months back, even love was a dream. a lost love. now that dream has been realised, i feel calm and at peace with myself. whenever i'm with her, its pure bliss.

and this is where i disagree with my love. when she says, there's nothing in the year gone by. there was her. isn't that one thing more important than all the others coupled? i'll be tempted to say yes...perhpas yes, i would say instead.

the reason why i look forward to this year is that it gives me one more chance to achieve whatever i want, to welcome that day when i'll be able to face the man in the mirror. and in that, my last year's gain, my teacher will help.


i wish you all a fulfilling new year. may you realise your dreams. and do wish the same for me.

7 comments:

starry nights said...

loved this post Adi..made me think and do some soul searching.True dreams is what keeps me going and gives me hope.I think every new year makes us want to do something diferent and meaningful in our lives.

totaramkiaaatma said...

have to say this is a good post to begin the new year with. And yes I did telephonically sent the new year greetings

Cuckoo said...

Nice post Adi. Dreams are the ones that keep us going. And you are such focused person now.. clear as your dreams?

No wonder, in my last post I correctly mentioned you as the most lost & most focused person. :)

Keep floating. :))

chocolteluva said...

"be like a postage stamp..." loved that quote!!
interesting post.. even though i have no resolutions this year, i do love reflecting back on it, ESPECIALLY, on the different ppl that you meet. even though its such a brief time, they can leave big footprints on ure heart.

sophie said...

love is everything dear Adi:)

love fills us up and makes the
world spin - and it's
contagious tooooo!!!! (he-he)

oh - and you are NO dork!!

"dashing" - not a dork

hugs!

adi said...

starry: thanks buddy. dreams are what i've.

totaramji: dhanyavad. but this is not fair. and u know what i'm talking about ;)

cuckoo: focussed? me?? i mean, u cud never have been so wrong!!! i wish i was even half as focussed as i'm absent :) beleive me. and wish me this one thing pls. that'll make my year, my life.

choco: hmmm, u know what i love ur comments. and u really make my day :)

sophie: now that u've seen the latest post, i can safely say, m but a dashing dork ;)

Anonymous said...

Would love to believe u...
DREAMS: :-)
Nice in theory.
Take care swtheart...
N yes everything is open to interpretations...

dreamt before

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