Monday, January 15, 2007

this was how he met her this sunday

all the year-long week, he had waited for this sunday. had longed to be with her, to run to her, and to wrap his arms around her. he had been depressed, almost sick missing her. and finally when saturday night arrived, he was startled to find himself in doubts. doubts about love.

it sneaked in through a friend's comment. the friend he was supposed to meet the next day. and it appeared in the form of a question. "do i love her?" as if someone else within was intent on dismantling the dreams he had built in the preceding months. it creeped in, and took over his mind. "do i really love her? is this love for real or just companionship? a phase that'll soon wither away?" and he got scared. of all those questions screaming in his mind.

he asked her. pleaded her for help. "please answer me. please help me answer these questions." she tried. she calmed him. as she always does. but she also reminded him that the answer was within him. and whatever the answer was, she'll wait for it.

the answer came, agonisingly late in the night. he messaged her. they talk a lot through sms' these days. but the answer howsoever clear, was still clouded in sleep. waking up in the morning, she was to receive more messages from him. and smile at them. smile at him.

by the time he slept; took part in the engagement ceremony of his landlord's son the next noon, waited for the programme to end quickly; and then in a hurry to meet her, left it midway... by the time he boarded the bus that took him to the friend's place where she was also to come, changed the bus at a red light as it was going too slowly for his eagerness, ran for another one, got down at the NOIDA crossing, and in a hurry to cross the road, nearly got run over... by the time he had walked, walked fast and then nearly sprinted all the way and up the stairs to the house no. 118, in mayur vihar phase 1, all those doubts of the previous night had vanished long ago and all he wanted was to see her once again.

lifting his right-hand to knock the door, he stopped. a laughter had ringed in the air. escaped through the closed door and filled up his whole being. through his fingers formed in a half-knock, through the wrist, the arm, the shoulder, the body, the mind, seeping to the ground, and in to his heart. it was her voice.

the world around laughed with her.

she laughs,
like a holy basil plant
laughing in the golden sunshine
like a floating diya
on the ghats of banaras
like a child's heart
singing with joy.

she laughs,
with a smile within
sprinkled with a silliness
which warms his heart.
she laughs
in a million words
he won't be able to use
describing how...

breathless, he stood there for two minutes. long after the laugh had gone, with the silence still and melodious. then knocked the door. entered. breathed. greeted his friend's - the brother and sister duo. didn't talk to her. at all. he was satisfied in watching her from a distance. she seemed too pious to be near, and he was afraid that he might spoil her.

but, when finally she came and sat beside him, asking, "what is it, adi", he broke down and cried.
this was how he met her this sunday.

And on went the moments flying by,
Moments they wanted to freeze,
Moments where it did not really matter,
That they were annoying others,
Where they both knew that for another week they wont meet...
And will wait for the next sunday,
In his arms she felt like a Godess being worshipped,
Sipping the ginger tea n teasing each other,
It was time for her to leave,
He pleaded to her to stay a little more,
She left those imploring eyes coz it was getting late,
And she went away like she always does...
Wishing she could have spent a little more time,
A few more moments of living and loving him...

A silence descended when he left,
It was cold all around,
Wrapping herself again in those memories,
And breathing his fragrance all around,
She smiled coz some distance away he was there, loving her...


sophie said...

Adi this is timely for me as you
know - it is not for lack of
love as our hearts know the truth-
it's the fear of the mind -
the fear of losing love -
and often - when other people sense
and see our love they are
envious and wish to chip away at it
perhaps just a little -
that is why it is lovely to share
love with everyone around us..
(your blog shares your love and
I love that about you)
this post was fragile and honest
and completely real and i quite
appreciate it at the present time -
the poem of laughter delighted me
as i also love a "silly warm
infectious" laugh - it fills me
up like hot chocolate on a snowy
crytal day -
i loved how you were afraid to
approach her for "spoiling" her -

and Dee knows and trusts in your
love that is why she is patient
with your ways:)
hugs for you and Dee, have a lovely

sophie said...

"sprinkled with silliness"

love it - like a cupcake sprinkled
with the silliness of laughter:)


dwaipayan said...

the impatient waiting, the confusion of love, the dilemma a lover faces, and the joy of seeing her once again...

thanks to you and dee, now i love the thing called love. earlier I used to hate it.

and you have no idea, how much important I feel when I think that you spend one of those special and rare days ,when you could spend a little time with each other, with me. i'm really touched.

Anonymous said...

I can see how much you love her and the longing for sundays.Thanks for sharing this love,makes me value the friendship and love I have with "J".
Take care, sunday is just around the corner.Hugggz to you and Dee.

Aditi said...

it was almost like a story except i knew it to be true

Anonymous said...

The phases of love-U fall in love, know that u desperately love her..she also feels the same..then comes doubt, is it true? R u ready to be in committment, and then u c her, and u know ..u r ready...

par yeh rona dhonaa..saaley tu roney bhi lagaaa..nikammey nithaley ;) hehehehhehe

Btw i called up autumn today..she ws same s usual.

-Peenuts_guess who

Anonymous said...

hmmm and here i am sitting scared that i dont rub off my bad luck to u....
may u stay in love.....
these days im really scared to meet u guys... nazar nahi lagani tumko....
pyar se pyar karana koi tumse seekhe.....

Cuckoo said...

Just Beautiful !! Don't know what to say. You have depicted the wait, impatience, fear, tension, worshipping and love so beautifully.

Stay Floating in Love. :))

Sunday is around the corner. :))

AaaDee said...

Beautiful post Adi.

Lots of love to you both..!!

dreamt before

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