Monday, June 30, 2008

intezaar / the wait

shaam dhundhla gayi hai
jaise kisi ne suraj ko
phoonk maar kar bujha diya ho achanak

raat, aur uski or patange se khinchne waale
us chaand ka aana
baki hai abhi

mere badan ko choo ke
beh rahi hai hawa
aur meri ye khamosh lehrein,
bechain hain, hawa ki hi tarah

kab tu ayegi,
ghaat ki seedhiyan utar
kab main ek sanjeeda mehboob ki tarah
tere payal saje pair pakharunga


evening has turned grey
as if somebody
put out the sun, suddenly

night, and that moon
which draws to her like a moth
are yet to arrive

the blowing wind
is sweeping across my body
and these silent waves of mine
are as agitated as the wind is

when will you come
descending the ghaat steps
when will i, like an impassioned lover
wash your anklet adorned feet

ghaat is the stepped bank on a river or a water-well.
with permission from my sunset poetess aparna.

it was her, who while describing an evening at the banks of the river narmada, gave me the thought to write about a water-body waiting for the arrival of his beloved at dusk. i took her permission to take that experience and turn it into a poem for dee. this was sometime last year. i hope the time taken has been justified with this attempt.


Jon said...

Nice poem my friend... am a bit curious about the word order and if there is a difference in Hindi and in English... do some of the phrases and lines look different??? know what I mean... for example the word suddenly after the comma fault anding a line and stanza??? is it the same in the original or is that a consequence of the translation and trying to keep the meaning???

also love the imagery... the closing line (the anklet) is especially vivid... can almost feel the stone steps under the foot...

hope these words find you well...

dwaipayan said...

justified would be an understatement!!!

dharmabum said...

justified indeed.

lekin suraj to ahista ahista doobta hain, nahin?

delhidreams said...

hopper: considering my legendary translation skills, nobody who reads Hindi reads my English translations...that apart, i am trying to improve them a bit. and yes, some pauses, even words are changed to keep the meaning as close as possible to the original.
thanks for the words, yes, i am well and writing and dreaming :)

dwai: oh, okay. then? ;)

dharma: kabhi kabhi shaam aise dhalti hai, jaise ghoonghat utar raha ho...aur kabhi aise aati hai ke andhera cha jata hai, achanak.

ishqia said...

nice poem

How do we know said...

Adi, after what seems like ages, we have a poem from you that reminds me of the work that glued me to this blog in the first place.

This piece, purely as a piece of poetry, is sublime... the kind of image that stays with u long long after u have forgotten the words.

And, the image u have added to this post is just PERFECT.

Arti Honrao said...

Kya kahoon, Adee!

shaam dhundhla gayi hai
jaise kisi ne suraj ko
phoonk maar kar bujha diya ho achanak



[a} said...

i am so out of it; i keep meaning to visit blogs but keep forgetting to. your comment reminded me to drop by here, so thank you. i am never disappointed.

love: "mere badan ko choo ke
beh rahi hai hawa
aur meri ye khamosh lehrein,
bechain hain, hawa ki hi tarah"

human being said...

when one feels something deeply, it transcends its physical level of being... elevating our experience...
this beautiful piece inspired by your deep and sacred love for Dee, transcends your love and talks about something more cosmic... that Yang/Yin concept .... the imagery is in line with it, too... especially i loved that image of lover as the river(moving... Yang)

i couldn't find the original image in Shadows' blog... your link was not to the exact post... anyhow... i should thanks her, too.

and when i had the cocept of the cosmic female and male in my mind... i thought... oh night... the world of subconscious... hmmmm this wind is the poet's inspiration and... the woman his animus.... what a union...
and i thought if it wasn't for Dee, could we read such soft and silky images in Adee's poems?

i bow to your love...
kisses for Dee

p.s. sorry... the crow has got a bad habit... she cannot simply say she loves something... she should find the "why"... and when she thinks... her fingers move...
the moral of the story:
when the crow is absent, never come and ask her where she's gone... she comes and talks your head off!!!

KAYLEE said...

Nice and no i aint mad at you!

Sach1 said...

its sooo bful!
I not only loved your idea of writing but the header too...
everything's so bful :)
willl be back to

delhidreams said...

ishqia: thanks

howdy: he he, it almost implies that there was nothing good in between, all this time ;) thanks a ton N. i hope i continue to like my words.

arti: i thought u wud like the last para, and the last line the most :)

A: no worries1 in order to get my justified comment, i will go every time on your blog and remind u to post it here :)

human: first of all, i actually was waiting for urs and Howdy's comments :)
second, thanks for all ur detailed comments. not me, nor dee mind them at all.
and don't worry, any time u r absent, i will continue to go all the way to Iran and shout for u there :):) thanks a lot.
shadows, has not written a post for that. she was just describing me one of her evenings and i very shyly asked her permission to turn it into a poem for dee :)

kaylee: thanks girl. i hope u r better now.

sach: he he, thanks buddy. and welcome to delhidreams. hope u'll be visiting again, soon :)


when will you come
descending the ghaat steps
when will i, like an impassioned lover
wash your anklet adorned feet

Lovely image

Arti Honrao said...

Yeah, that too ...
But the lines I have quoted are most fav.
The last para is exclusively your copyright ... even to feel ;)


switch said...

so intimate...even sexy.

delhidreams said...

raji: thanks ma'm :)

arti: yes, woh to hai!

fern: hmmmm. somehow, it is. thanks fern.

vebhuti said...

I love this... It is an absolutely fantastic image and poem. Very traditional setting, and I love the way its being worked.

dreamt before

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