Monday, July 03, 2006

Thu, 29 May 2003


"Subject: a dreamy monday evening

a dreamy monday evening
intensely i tried to remember her
to think about her
but in vain i pursued
the images of past
it seemed even her memories had left me
dejected, i opened my eyes,
and she was there
my head in her lap
and her delicate fingers caressing my eyes
touchingly she asked
why do you search for me in rememberances past?
i'm here, and will always be there with you

the last time i'd met her, it was months back
the last time i talked to her, it was weeks back
but she's still here with me
and i know she'll always be

didn't she said so?
as on my part

i do not need to remember her
not any more
cause she's within me
how can i forget someone
someone who's a piece of my soul...???????

adi 'the dreamweaver'


my dear bard said, what's in a name, a rose by any other name would still be a rose.

i must admit, i've chuckled n grinned a lot at all the confusion i've created, regarding the sudden decision to change my name. the mails n phone calls i've received reveal a variety of expressions, from cases of mistaken identity, to plain horror to mild surprises to full throated laughs - originating from deep within the belly. but those who know me a little deeply, were not surprised that much, they know how eccentric i can be at times, well, er, most of the times....

now to clarify a little bit,
first of all, it has not been a sudden decision, most of them r not in my case, but they do appear abruptly like a volcano being in the layers of mind for quite sometime - it might be days, weeks, months even years.


secondly, i've not changed my name as u guess, i still remain the one n only, true blue alok saini. all i've done is to collect all the sundry nicknames i was associated with, wrapped them in a nice polythene sheet 'n threw them in the waste basket. okay, remove that polythene bit, it is not eco-friendly , use paper instead. now, for my convenience, 'n resultantly urs too, i've decided that u should all call me adi. nice isn't it??? one man- one name.

thirdly, this adi is not short of aditya or any other name like adil, adinath, adilabad or whatever. it is a small, sweet, truly complete word with a truly complete meaning in hindi. care to pick up that dictionary, no, okay, adi means the first one or the beginning. not etcectra pheebes ;-)

now, i guess, i've removed all the cobwebs from ur mind. hope to give u some more shocks, some other time, some other day. and i would like the replies at my rediffmail id, but as it is down now, u can send a bcc to this hotmail id.

bye, take care, abracadabra, ooops!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gone, pearl, call me, again, save me...

love 4 life & life 4 love
thus, spake the dreamweaver"


blimy old mail i found in hagrid's inbox yesterday. i dont even have those mail-id's now, still this was good. remembering those times...

i've often complained to god, he didn't give me enough memories to hold on, to cherish, to live them again. like the 'mirror of erised' i've to cling on to every little piece of my past i liked. and there are not many. and i haven't heard her voice since ages...

The Blue Room by Paul Uribe; Image: © Albright-Knox Art Gallery/CORBIS; Creator Name: Paul Uribe; Date Created: 1940

8 comments:

starry nights said...

That poem was beautiful. so vivid. she will always be part of you. she is part of your soul.

meet_me said...

well adi,
i just guessed abt the meaning .... n as u know...i was half right!!!

other than that, all i would say is it is always good to live in the present than the past ... we often don't live our past. we wish our past or we regret it...

shadows said...

who is saying that to who my dear....

meet_me said...

well shadows, i meant that i don't ... but i know that it isn't good ...
n it is good that he doesn't hav memories to cling to...

Dumbfunk said...

Its always better to regret the things you've done, than the things you wished you'd done don't you think?

adi said...

meet_me
its not that i dont have any memories, its just that they r as abnormal as they cud be hidden behin the cloak of normalcy

dumbfunk
yeah, 'if only' is the most painful word in this world :)

melanienyc said...

one should always live in the present & leave the past in the past...

if you are caught wallowing in the past you may well end up regretting the things you did not do or say.

i think it is much better to be true to yourself, say what you feel, do what you want-- paying no mind to what others think.

if you do that, you will be that much closer to living regret free.

Anonymous said...

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
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dreamt before

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