ma had great dreams for me.

to fulfill them i did many things like running printing machinery, operating design computers, teaching children and adults, caring for adults that behaved like children (i.e. customer care and client servicing) and works. writing copy for around three years now and she still has no idea what do i actually do.

all i want is to get my name published someday, somewhere. as an ad maker or a script writer or a lyricist or the world's most talented lunatic.

hope you'll be somewhere around to cheer me :)

amen

of taps that run & wishes fulfilled

I've shifted. I'm not staying with Rahul anymore.

It is an airy, spacious, one room + kitchen + verandah + other facilities - 'a complete floor for us' set-up. At 2.5k + water/electric, it is a little over budget, but then I wouldn't mind complete calm & privacy as little added benefits. No nagging, almost hysterical next room occupants; no shared bathrooms; no locked gates after a prescribed time - ah, I feel like a king.

And the best thing is that taps here actually have water. At the mere slight of a rotation, the taps come alive with fresh, gurgling, pressurized water. What a relief. The first day I was very excited upon my discovery. 'Hey, they are not showpieces, they actually have a utility.' Most of the people don't realize how fortunate they are to get taps that actually work. I was like that also. But almost two years of tap-less existence has made me wiser. (There were no running water in Indore also.)

Running taps are like promises fulfilled. You see a tap, you feel sure that it is usable. If not, like in municipal toilets & drinking fountains, that promise, that trust is broken. That's why running taps are like promises fulfilled. A very comforting thought indeed.

I'm staying with Mr. & Mrs. God here.

Perhaps I've begun to enjoy my life also. The first tentative steps. Like a mystery being solved very slowly, some veil is lifting from my life. Some of the real basics are getting clearer, some are in the process of. Slowly, step by step, piece by piece, somebody up there is putting together a grand life for me. Tonight, on the 13th of December 2005, I feel like God has started fulfilling my wishes - his promises. Like taps that work.

the Physical Mind

a piece of thought, from my diary

November 26, 2005 11:40pm
...i'm not a physical person, i never was. most of my existence revolves around the thought process, i live with & in my mind. if given a chance, i would like to do everything by sheer mindpower, without even lifting a finger.
no doubt, that also defines me as a lazy fella. lazy yes, invalid not.

i enjoy physical excursions. i've enjoyed playing cricket every single time, especially hitting my big bro all over the park - that happenned rarely though, but it was some celebration. i would like to go trekking every weekend & i dream of making mad passionate love to my love. but. the keyword here is 'dream', 'wish'.

i tend to think about a thing & enjoying it more than actually doing it. i derive all my pleasures by thought.

My Newest Resolution
"I'll never be ashamed of anything now"

That roughly transcribes to loving life fully, without any guilt factor. Jo ho gaya, so ho gaya, jo kaha, so kiya, usmein koi sharm nahin, total bindaas. period. thing is, will i be able to pull it off?
Just last to last sunday, i made a resolution never-ever to be late again. God knows, I'm reaching office, even later than my previous timings. That's what happens to my resolutions. All air, pof, whoosh....gone.
and new year is round the corner...
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November 27, 2005 12:10am